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We need to talk about Diane Abbott. Now. (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Seriously….You need to read this!

Cooking on a Bootstrap

This is not a recipe. I wrote this as a series of tweets today and readers asked for it as a blog post, so here it is. Our politics may differ, so feel free to skip straight back to the recipes if that’s what you’re here for.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DIANE ABBOTT.

Right one of us political writer people needs to do this and it looks like it’s me. Grab a seat. I wanna talk about Diane.
Diane was first elected as an MP in 1987, the year before I was born. She has been dedicated to serving the British public for longer than I have even been alive. Hold that thought. Understand it.
Diane was the first black woman to have a seat in the House of Commons. She MADE HISTORY. Her father was welder, her mother a nurse. How many working class kids do we have…

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We need to talk about Diane Abbott. Now. (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Source: We need to talk about Diane Abbott. Now. (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Theresa May’s secretive plans to replace NHS in England with private US healthcare system Kaiser Permanente

Source: Theresa May’s secretive plans to replace NHS in England with private US healthcare system Kaiser Permanente

More Misery For i360: Now 76 Passengers Demand Refund After Hungover Mans Flatulence Results In ‘Ride From Hell’

I was crying reading this

The Brighton Bulletin

Brighton’s i360 is facing yet more problems today as over 70 passengers demanded their money back after they were forced to endure 20 minutes in the enclosed pod with a man with severe and nauseating ‘wind breaking’ tendencies.

In a week which has seen the newly opened ride get stuck in the air and subsequently stay closed for two days this new incident could not have come at a worse time for the problem hit attraction. Passengers confronted staff and refused to leave the site until they were given compensation after their trip was ruined by a mans constant dropping of his guts. Order was only restored after the disgruntled passengers were offered a voucher for another ride and a free drink.

Louise Sunsil had traveled with her husband and two kids from Eastbourne as a treat for her birthday. She describes how the celebration, and the air, quickly turned…

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Are we OK, you and I, after you voted to destroy my dreams?

Andrew Reid Wildman, artist, photographer, writer, teacher

I feel like someone has taken something dear to me, my identity, my connection to my continent, and they have killed it. If you voted Leave, I hope you are prepared to take responsibility for what you have done, and that you do not regret it. It is over to you now, to sort out. Some friends view my reaction as an affront. That I am ‘dissing” them. It is not. It is just that you have killed something that was precious to me. You have created a country around me that I do not recognise, which feels broken and insular. That was your right to do that, you voted the way you thought was best. And you won and I lost. But in so doing you destroyed something. Many of you are now regretting your vote. Save your tears, I do not want to hear them lest I scream…

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Britain votes to put its dick in a blender

News Toad

Britain has voted to put it’s own penis in a food processor and turn it on in order to make Britain great again.

The much publicised referendum gave the public a simple choice of whether to remain with its genitals intact or whether its genitals should actually leave, preferably with the assistance of some sort of electric kitchen device.

One leave voter told us they looked forward to sunnier days ahead, albeit without a knob.

“It might mean us no longer having a penis, but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take. I can’t wait for us to regain our special Britishy Britishness now we have a severed wanger.”

The prospect of Britain becoming an isolated and irrelevant little island without a todger has already affected the markets with the pound sinking to its lowest level for over 30 years.

However Nigel Farage has described this as scaremongering. “We’re sick…

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